The Move-

Well, I’m back! Again. Crikey, I need to get back into this website. I mean, look at the state of this place! The place is falling apart, and reeks of decay and must… Heck, even the curtains are falling apart. I could see that some of you fellows, despite things looking bleak, have still had hope in this little domain and have visited every now and then, and thanks for that! (Trif, our local MechaPress Marathoner, thank you especially!)

So, of course, what have I been up to in these past few months? Mostly summertime shenanigan-ing. Mostly I’ve been trying to get some recognition on the Cobalt Forums. (You know, that game I mentioned really long ago, around the time I broke my wrist?) And things have been going… not so swimmingly well. Not to say that I’m doing bad! It’s just that things are not as awesome as they could, or even should be. And I know at least ONE of you is going to be all like “Why even bother promoting yourself on a pointless website to do nothing but inflate your ego?”, and to that I must say: I really don’t know. But I’ve got a talent, and the internet is the best way to show it off! If you’ve got it, flaunt it! (Except some obvious exceptions. You can be as proud as you want, but nobody wants to see your intestinal disease.)

Also, as I stated before, we moved! My folks are now living separately (for… *ahem* quite well-known reasons). So now pop lives inside a rather old apartment complex that’s rather cozy and authentic with it’s gnarled wooden planks lining the floors and walls, while mom lives in a more modern apartment that features the most amazing showers you have ever seen. They have, like, fifteen different spray modes, from mist to rain to even controlled bursts of water. But anyway, most of my summer was performing this:

New art style? New art style. NEW ART STYLE! (Now with 76% more manga-like! How about that for a make-up gift, ey?)

Now, being in an apartment, you’d think we’d have an elevator. And we do! But the apartment is REALLY old, and had just been renovated, so the elevator was this tiny little box, with one of those cross-shaped grate things that you have to push away manually. That plus it’s small size doesn’t make it ideal for moving large boxes to and fro, making the large flight of stars the only option.
Oh, and did I mention we didn’t use a moving van this time? No, instead mom decided to hire some “professional movers” *COUGH* that would haul all our stuff to the apartment instead. And at first glimpse, they seemed pretty qualified. They were nice, lively, and quite… well, buff. Like, WWE-level buff.

This is for you, Trif. I tried my best.

But of course, the movers were clearly upset due to the lack of elevator. So they took it out on us by “accidentally” putting some of our stuff in the storage facility we bought to put our really old stuff, like my great-grandmother’s sleigh. So we had to go there to pick some stuff up, but that’s another adventure, for another blog post.

So anyway, we managed to gather all our stuff into the house, which was a mess at the time. And “mess” is a very generous understatement. I like cluttered spaces, but I like organized clutter. So all these boxes had my neat-habit acting up, which made things insufferable. At least, well for me. Mom (who, if you didn’t figure it out, got “custody” of me), on the other hand, didn’t really seem to notice. So it was mostly me organizing, unboxing, and taking out the boxes into the recycling out back. Oh, had a garbage disposal? Nope.

This, of course, brings me to the lady who sold us the apartment. And she was about as “stereotypical cheerleader/hip girl” as it gets here in America.  If she didn’t also sell apartments for the “no-pets” branch of the apartments as well, she’d probably have a rat-dog in that pink purse of hers. She had the works: sunglasses, cell phone with cheerful ringtone, brightly colored dress, high-pitched voice and, of course, a practically visible aura of perfume around her. Heck, I swear she used one of those *shudder* tanning booths.

You are beyond help if you do this to yourself. Guys too, no matter how strange that may seem.

I have little clue and care for what her name was, but let’s just call her… Tiffany.  That’s a good “perky girl” name, right? No offense, potential viewers that may also be named Tiffany, I just needed an upbeat, popular-sounding name.

Anyway, this Tiffany was in charge of selling us this apartment. We went through all sorts of apartments (including an awesome one with a huge elevator, 50-something-th floor, great view, pool, and all sorts of awesome shit that turned out to be infested with roaches), so we were kind of desperate as the Russian family was moving into our (old) house in the next three days. So we were in a bit of a hurry. Tiffany told us about all these amazing features of our “new, wonderful home”, right? She told us that we could use any services of the other buildings, had a garbage disposal, really great repair team, the works. We were elated that such a rather old place offered such great services and accommodations, so we jumped and bought that sucker like it was a purple rubber octopus for sale.

So a few days later, after those beefy guys haul all our stuff in, and I painfully haul in the smaller (yet probably heavier) stuff, we start to figure out that Tiffany was downright bullshitting us. No garbage disposal, we needed a “membership card” to even get into any other buildings, and the repair team, while nice, didn’t really know where to put the stuff they were setting up (which is why I have a wall unit A/C inside one of my windows, and not on the wall). So of course, we call the manager to let them know Tiffany had NO CLUE what she was talking about, but guess who the new manager was…

SHOCKING TRUTH!

That’s right: Tiffany.

Holy. Crab. Cupcakes.

So apparently the old manager, an equally daft, but far more aware of her daftness girl like Tiffany had been fired after an unpleasant run-in with a client she had some secrets about. So Tiffany, who somehow was next in line, got the big desk job. I have no clue how a girl like her got in charge, but looking at the idiots who in charge of things like congress, I can’t say I’m surprised. America, everyone!

So she had no clue what we were talking about. So we kind of ran into a snag. And we still are. Hopefully they fire Tiffany and hire someone with a brain that isn’t fried by artificial tanning. Seriously. I swear that stuff causes tumors or something.

So with our new home… well, not living up to it’s expectations, we simply rolled with the punches and managed to settle in anyway. And it’s pretty okay. I mean, I have to take the garbage out twice a day, and I have to deal with the neighbors who are literally a wall away…

IN GLORIOUS THREE DEE!

My room is already done being set up, so I may fulfill a certain good luck spirit I know* and post some picture of my lair here soon!

In terms of new furniture, we went to quite possibly my favorite store in the world: IKEA (Thank you, various northern European Countries!). I love the smell of wood and cardboard. And who would’ve guessed, but I got a new bed, fluffy mattress and all during my time there! Most of the stuff we bought were shelves, as mom is one hell of a hoarder as you may remember. And we have a stash of books so large that would make Patch- I, er, I mean, a rather avid librarian rather happy to see. So it was also my duty to, when we returned home (and hauled more heavy boxes upstairs) was to assemble the shelves, while dad visited to take care of the bed. It was rather easy, sort of like LEGO for carpenters. Just a lot of strain on my already thrown-out back!

Dad’s apartment is a completely different ordeal. I don’t live there most of the time (every second weekend I visit), and Dad got a pretty good setup. I spend most of my time there either eating, hiding in my sky-bed lair he built for me, or watching TCM with him on his new television. It has a 3-D movie mode! There’s no hilarious story with Dad’s place, so let’s just move on with my real Mecha-Cave.

So we now are at present day. I’m changing schools from FCS to Crefeild High, a school tailored more to dropouts people with creative minds who aren’t really good at more sturdy concepts like math (maths for your Europeans),  foreign language (I know I should, it’s just so hard!) and such. So I’ve got a change in education coming up, which is cool.

I’ve also been pressing out videos while away, you can check them out on MechaPress’s official YouTube channel! I’m also still trying to show my talents on the Cobalt Forums, you can find my amazing work here, here and here! So I have been busy with stuff over my summer! I also plan to update the Database (again…) with some pictures (or picture placeholders), so you can be sure to have your pants blown off with that!

So that’s about it! … I kind of forgot how to a clever final word in my absence though, so I’ll just leave it ending a bit awkwardly right here…

 

*Trif. The spirit in question is Trif, or rather, how I draw him, her or it. Just so you outsiders know! I’ve changed a bit since we last met…

Welcome Back!

Yes, Hello everyone! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I know I posted that cryptic .gif a while ago, and I left many of you confused for quite a while.

First off, let me do what I usually do and tell you what happened over those few months. Ever since I got my new laptop, things (obviously) started to go a bit badly with schooling. My folks figured to turn me somewhere else, and we found a place that’s quite nice! We have to move, because the old place is too expensive to keep clean anymore, and it’s quite far from my new school (which I will start attending next school year). Pop already moved to an apartment that’s quite old (where I’m typing this now), while Mom has been, somehow, taking care of moving her 20-something tons of luggage. I’ll write a full post on the whole mess later, but for now, let’s keep going.

The school year ended for me, finally, with some rather intense final exams. I’m starting to work on summer projects, which means more activity here, yay!

This brings me to what I have here to show you: A new video!

Yes, I’ve started to finally put things on our YouTube channel! This is just episode one of the eight I managed to record. It’s a tedious process, making them all, but in the end, it’s worth it. As for the content of said videos, it’s my adventures in the amazing Minecraft Mod Thaumcraft, which you’ll see what it’s all about soon. I plan to post the videos here as well as on MP’s TY channel.

So there you go, everyone! MechaPress is BACK!

The Polar Vortex-

AbandonedDeskWind

AbandonedDeskTumbleweed

It is a time…

A time of Chaos…

IcyCar

A time of Desolation…

IcyDeadMan

And a time of Uncertainty…

Icyworld

Brother, pitted against Brother…

Children, um, having children…!

But then, from the right side of your screen…

AmanwithachromerectangleREALREALLY

Came a Man…

SetUp

A man…

With a Steel Rectangle…

I MEAN LAPTOP COMPUTER!!

ShinyLaptop

This beauty is my new  MSI laptop, which is higher-ended than my old desktop! I’m not too keen on the specs anymore (I was, but I seem to have forgotten now…) I know this bad boy can run quite smoothly, and keep my lap quite warm during the cold season!

Which brings me to my next topic… The Polar Vortex.

It’s been a while since I was last here, (Christmas eve, actually, if you have forgotten) and things have been going normally, save the sudden stream of cold winds and snow that slammed us in the U.S.A. quite hard. It’s hard to believe the world used to normally be like this, if it’s not a little bit worrying about that whole climate change thing… Anyhow, we got quite hammered by blizzards here at home. School was cancelled almost instantly, and every time it looked like the snow let up and school was back in session, we’d get pounded again with the furious hail of frozen rain and snow.

However, living in some pine woodlands does have it’s downsides. During a particularly bad ice storm, many of the tree’s branches froze over and broke, littering the yard with sticks, and eventually landing on our power lines, snapping them in two. Mom was out of town at the time, on “business” (don’t ask me to elaborate, ask her please), so it was just me and Dad in the cold.

Argh

Forced out of our homes due to the terrible chill that came with the heater offline, we went to a restaurant to recollect our thoughts. After having some simple pastries, we managed to settle It out that I would stay at Leon’s home, as he had electricity (but no internet), while my dad would overtime at work. So, getting a laptop just before this crisis came quite in handy! This cycle of running over to his house while my dad did his normal routine stuck for the next few days, as PECO was up to their helmets in repair orders.

Also, since Leon had no internet, I kept him “sane” (so he says) during those few days. He says there’s a reward for this in order, but I have yet to see it.

Soon afterwards, our power was finally restored and we managed to re-adjust to living a normal lifestyle again. More storms did come, but none of them took out the power like last time, thankfully.

Other than that, everything is pretty normal over here! I did go see The LEGO Movie, which was incredible and full of clever inside jokes. If you haven’t set your eyes on it, do it soon! You won’t regret it, I swear! (Also, bring your kids if you can, there’s plenty of ads in there before the film that are just so stupid to watch when you’re over age 10.)

I’m also getting some work done with Flash, and I plan to upload and share a few of my works here when I get the time! Yes, that Videos tab is finally going to get some content of it’s own! Whoo!

There really isn’t much left to say for today. I suppose something hilarious will happen soon enough, but right now school is getting in the way of things and making everything boring as hell. More content soon, hopefully, so stay tuned forever, because this is the Internet!

Tree

Here in the good ol’ (relatively speaking) US of A, Black Friday is usually the moment where a mass contradiction occurs. The day before was Thanksgiving, where families got together and feasted on a massive banquet of various foods, all usually supplied by the only good cook in the family. Everyone that day is thankful for what they have, but the following day, Black Friday, is where suddenly, you are compelled to beat the ever-loving shit out of someone for a Plasma-Screen that’s 25% off.

Blackfriday

It’s madness.

However, on that crazy day, my dad had other plans. Since everyone was brawling for parking spots at Wal-Mart, and my mom was out of town, he thought to surprise her by buying an X-Mas tree early.

Dadhasaplan

Let me also note that it was below water-freezing temperatures, and I was just settling in to my fluffy pants. But what could I do against the main figure of authority in the house? So on we went, Dad griping about the Route-1 speed traps the highway engineers must have purposely constructed along the way.

Soon, Dad noticed that the sun was starting to set. In his self-indulged haze of genius he forgot to bring the early sunset into the equation. So now we were in some of a hurry, and when Dad tries to get things done quickly, bad things ensue.

Chainsaw

Which is exactly what followed a short while later.

When we just arrived, we passed by a small area that had pre-cut trees for sale. It was quite cold and my hands were starting to hurt, so I tried to convince dad that maybe we should get one of those instead.

That was a mistake.

No.” He said. “We’re going to cut down our own tree. And we are going to do so within the hour!” Normally I would be quite intimidated by this, but I could see it in his face that he was also cold and wanted to go home as well. But he set this charade of masculinity up, and now he had to fulfill this to the end.

So we then were told to mount a rickety tractor trailer ride, that was quite bumpy.

Now, I’m not one to talk about my nether regions, but I don’t have that much body fat on my rear. And since the ride was quite rickety, every time we hit a bump I would receive a sharp pain in my pelvis bone. On top of that, we were surrounded by various other sons and fathers, all who probably were trying to look tough in front of their kids despite the frigid weather. This set up probably the most powerful atmosphere of misery I have ever experienced.

It was overwhelming.

When we finally reached the pine-tree fields, the grizzled, army-camo-donning, semi-aggressive war veteran who drove us handed each of us a hacksaw, and then told us where to go.

We found our preferred tree fairly quickly. It was a wide one, with puffy needles and thick branches. Upon finding it, Dad told me to stand opposite of the side where he would begin sawing away at the tree. And so he began to slowly cut away.

About thirty seconds in, I heard Dad shout something expletive. “Is everything alright?” I attempted to say through my shivering. “Everything’s okay here.” He said. “This tree just has a really thick base.”. And so he went back to sawing away.

Ten minutes passed of slow sawing and cursing, while I stayed obediently by my post, shivering away. My hands were completely numb by that point, and my face had started to turn a pale shade of blue. Soon, we came to realize, was that this tree was not going to just let us cut it down.

Angrytrees

In the past, most of the trees we bring home cooperate with us when we try to cut them down. They’re the right shape, bend very little when bagged up, and usually don’t spread their needles everywhere and scare the cat.

This one, however, was much different.

MoreTrees

This twisted soul of a tree even went as far as breaking the hacksaw we had been offered. Internally, I took this as a sign to give up. This tree was obviously aggressive, it was freezing out, and the sky was starting to illuminate with stars. But no. My Dad had to keep his image of power in check. No tree was going to prevent him from appearing strong and capable. So he soon obtained a saw from someone else whom was hauling their cooperative tree towards the tractor.

And so he went at it again.

At this point, I could almost feel my blood beginning to freeze. But I had to stand watch for when this tree would finally topple.

My Dad finally snapped when the saw hit a rather dense spot in the trunk. And in his adrenaline filled rage to not lose to this tree, he gave it a powerful kick in it’s side.

With a deafening “Crack!” the tree toppled to it’s side. My dad had won. In this battle of highly unfavorable odds, he had conquered this tree, and thus could keep his image of manly pride in check for a few more months. We then quickly hauled it back and placed it atop the car in a mesh bag, as if it was a deer we had just hunted down instead of a sedentary plant.

The tree, however, was still aggressively trying to deal as much damage as it could to us, even if that meant damaging itself.

Voilenttree

However, we did finally bring the tree inside, cut it down to size, and place it in our living space.

And that’s how I nearly caught severe hypothermia thanks to a persistent tree and a flamboyant sense of masculinity.

Belated Year-Closer-To-Inevitavble-Doom-Day!

I know this is a bit late, but I was busy going places and getting pointless things done. My 16th birthday (October 7th for you new readers) can be summed up in this one image:

My birthday, to be honest, was pretty dull. Not dull, as in nothing exiting happened, more dull as in nothing new happened.

Most of my birthdays when I was little were like some kind of festival for me. My folks always got me all these incredible doodads and whatsits for presents, used some huge place like Dave & Buster’s, and always baked me some incredibly awesome cake that I didn’t even eat. My friends back then thought I was the best for having my folks set up this incredible palooza for them and me (which was strange, because for the other 364 days they treated me like some social outcast).

My birthdays in my younger years were like those crazy things you’d expect me to have on my 16th time around the sun. I got the presents I dreamed of, which, instead of some new Toyota, were things like a Nintendo GameCube. Heck, I even remember on my 11th, I ate so much candy I got sick and vomited afterwards. I always had the crazy celebrations with all my pals when I was little, instead of in my teens like everyone else does.

My birthdays when I was just a toddler, those were like some special holiday just for me. My Great, Great Grandfather would always come in and remark how older I looked every year, and distant relatives would mail over their gifts. I even remember one special birthday during my Thomas The Tank Engine obsessive phase when I really wanted that green one (I think Percy was his name) like nothing else in the world. And when I saw that tiny box, combined with the sugar-filled energy that any little kid would get, I’m pretty sure I just lost it then and there.

My hands were shaking so much I couldn’t even unwrap it. My mom had to come in and unravel it bit by bit as I desperately tried to unveil the plastic beauty within. My dad just stared at me with worry as my heart rate began to enter the BPM comparable to that of a hummingbird. And when I finally got it open… I actually don’t remember what happened after that. Maybe I passed out or something. But I remember I was happy to have that little smiling train. It was mine. Nobody could take it from me. Not Santa, not my parents, not the ultimate deity of the universe itself. No one.

However, as I aged and learned the sad, sad truths about the lies parents tell you as a kid (I was brought into the world by a pterodactyl? Seriously?!), I began to get bored of the same big old mega-parties I held. The last one was my 12-13th, when I went to D&B’s again and only brought two friends. Then for a while, boring, non-celebratory birthdays were actually exiting because they were new. Then those quickly got boring, and here we are at me being 16.

No, I didn’t get my drivers license.

No, I didn’t get on that MTV show, or whatever it is.

No, I didn’t get a bazillion expensive gifts.

No, I didn’t even get a cake. (I got three cookies mashed into some blob with a candle in it.)

No, my friends didn’t even bother to visit or give me anything.

However, this simple day was punctuated by something exiting. Not as exiting as getting that toy train. Not as exiting as getting a car.

I got my own freaking scanner.

I’m sure the following days of my upcoming 4-day-weekend will be only punctuated by this:

And by stars, I’ll enjoy it.