Well, I’m back! Again. Crikey, I need to get back into this website. I mean, look at the state of this place! The place is falling apart, and reeks of decay and must… Heck, even the curtains are falling apart. I could see that some of you fellows, despite things looking bleak, have still had hope in this little domain and have visited every now and then, and thanks for that! (Trif, our local MechaPress Marathoner, thank you especially!)
So, of course, what have I been up to in these past few months? Mostly summertime shenanigan-ing. Mostly I’ve been trying to get some recognition on the Cobalt Forums. (You know, that game I mentioned really long ago, around the time I broke my wrist?) And things have been going… not so swimmingly well. Not to say that I’m doing bad! It’s just that things are not as awesome as they could, or even should be. And I know at least ONE of you is going to be all like “Why even bother promoting yourself on a pointless website to do nothing but inflate your ego?”, and to that I must say: I really don’t know. But I’ve got a talent, and the internet is the best way to show it off! If you’ve got it, flaunt it! (Except some obvious exceptions. You can be as proud as you want, but nobody wants to see your intestinal disease.)
Also, as I stated before, we moved! My folks are now living separately (for… *ahem* quite well-known reasons). So now pop lives inside a rather old apartment complex that’s rather cozy and authentic with it’s gnarled wooden planks lining the floors and walls, while mom lives in a more modern apartment that features the most amazing showers you have ever seen. They have, like, fifteen different spray modes, from mist to rain to even controlled bursts of water. But anyway, most of my summer was performing this:
Now, being in an apartment, you’d think we’d have an elevator. And we do! But the apartment is REALLY old, and had just been renovated, so the elevator was this tiny little box, with one of those cross-shaped grate things that you have to push away manually. That plus it’s small size doesn’t make it ideal for moving large boxes to and fro, making the large flight of stars the only option.
Oh, and did I mention we didn’t use a moving van this time? No, instead mom decided to hire some “professional movers” *COUGH* that would haul all our stuff to the apartment instead. And at first glimpse, they seemed pretty qualified. They were nice, lively, and quite… well, buff. Like, WWE-level buff.
But of course, the movers were clearly upset due to the lack of elevator. So they took it out on us by “accidentally” putting some of our stuff in the storage facility we bought to put our really old stuff, like my great-grandmother’s sleigh. So we had to go there to pick some stuff up, but that’s another adventure, for another blog post.
So anyway, we managed to gather all our stuff into the house, which was a mess at the time. And “mess” is a very generous understatement. I like cluttered spaces, but I like organized clutter. So all these boxes had my neat-habit acting up, which made things insufferable. At least, well for me. Mom (who, if you didn’t figure it out, got “custody” of me), on the other hand, didn’t really seem to notice. So it was mostly me organizing, unboxing, and taking out the boxes into the recycling out back. Oh, had a garbage disposal? Nope.
This, of course, brings me to the lady who sold us the apartment. And she was about as “stereotypical cheerleader/hip girl” as it gets here in America. If she didn’t also sell apartments for the “no-pets” branch of the apartments as well, she’d probably have a rat-dog in that pink purse of hers. She had the works: sunglasses, cell phone with cheerful ringtone, brightly colored dress, high-pitched voice and, of course, a practically visible aura of perfume around her. Heck, I swear she used one of those *shudder* tanning booths.
I have little clue and care for what her name was, but let’s just call her… Tiffany. That’s a good “perky girl” name, right? No offense, potential viewers that may also be named Tiffany, I just needed an upbeat, popular-sounding name.
Anyway, this Tiffany was in charge of selling us this apartment. We went through all sorts of apartments (including an awesome one with a huge elevator, 50-something-th floor, great view, pool, and all sorts of awesome shit that turned out to be infested with roaches), so we were kind of desperate as the Russian family was moving into our (old) house in the next three days. So we were in a bit of a hurry. Tiffany told us about all these amazing features of our “new, wonderful home”, right? She told us that we could use any services of the other buildings, had a garbage disposal, really great repair team, the works. We were elated that such a rather old place offered such great services and accommodations, so we jumped and bought that sucker like it was a purple rubber octopus for sale.
So a few days later, after those beefy guys haul all our stuff in, and I painfully haul in the smaller (yet probably heavier) stuff, we start to figure out that Tiffany was downright bullshitting us. No garbage disposal, we needed a “membership card” to even get into any other buildings, and the repair team, while nice, didn’t really know where to put the stuff they were setting up (which is why I have a wall unit A/C inside one of my windows, and not on the wall). So of course, we call the manager to let them know Tiffany had NO CLUE what she was talking about, but guess who the new manager was…
That’s right: Tiffany.
Holy. Crab. Cupcakes.
So apparently the old manager, an equally daft, but far more aware of her daftness girl like Tiffany had been fired after an unpleasant run-in with a client she had some secrets about. So Tiffany, who somehow was next in line, got the big desk job. I have no clue how a girl like her got in charge, but looking at the idiots who in charge of things like congress, I can’t say I’m surprised. America, everyone!
So she had no clue what we were talking about. So we kind of ran into a snag. And we still are. Hopefully they fire Tiffany and hire someone with a brain that isn’t fried by artificial tanning. Seriously. I swear that stuff causes tumors or something.
So with our new home… well, not living up to it’s expectations, we simply rolled with the punches and managed to settle in anyway. And it’s pretty okay. I mean, I have to take the garbage out twice a day, and I have to deal with the neighbors who are literally a wall away…
My room is already done being set up, so I may fulfill a certain good luck spirit I know* and post some picture of my lair here soon!
In terms of new furniture, we went to quite possibly my favorite store in the world: IKEA (Thank you, various northern European Countries!). I love the smell of wood and cardboard. And who would’ve guessed, but I got a new bed, fluffy mattress and all during my time there! Most of the stuff we bought were shelves, as mom is one hell of a hoarder as you may remember. And we have a stash of books so large that would make Patch- I, er, I mean, a rather avid librarian rather happy to see. So it was also my duty to, when we returned home (and hauled more heavy boxes upstairs) was to assemble the shelves, while dad visited to take care of the bed. It was rather easy, sort of like LEGO for carpenters. Just a lot of strain on my already thrown-out back!
Dad’s apartment is a completely different ordeal. I don’t live there most of the time (every second weekend I visit), and Dad got a pretty good setup. I spend most of my time there either eating, hiding in my sky-bed lair he built for me, or watching TCM with him on his new television. It has a 3-D movie mode! There’s no hilarious story with Dad’s place, so let’s just move on with my real Mecha-Cave.
So we now are at present day. I’m changing schools from FCS to Crefeild High, a school tailored more to
dropouts people with creative minds who aren’t really good at more sturdy concepts like math (maths for your Europeans), foreign language (I know I should, it’s just so hard!) and such. So I’ve got a change in education coming up, which is cool.
I’ve also been pressing out videos while away, you can check them out on MechaPress’s official YouTube channel! I’m also still trying to show my talents on the Cobalt Forums, you can find my amazing work here, here and here! So I have been busy with stuff over my summer! I also plan to update the Database (again…) with some pictures (or picture placeholders), so you can be sure to have your pants blown off with that!
So that’s about it! … I kind of forgot how to a clever final word in my absence though, so I’ll just leave it ending a bit awkwardly right here…
*Trif. The spirit in question is Trif, or rather, how I draw him, her or it. Just so you outsiders know! I’ve changed a bit since we last met…